Love letter to mom

25th October, 2019. A date I could not forget. She left this world.. so abruptly. Despite 5 years of preparation, having had the time to spend with her, it still feels not easy to take, still feels.. like the loss is just unimaginable. She's no longer here with us. None her voice, none her smile, none of her presence.. even if you want to meet her.. or anticipate her for a chat or a tea.

Mom had fought cancer for 5 years. The days during this battle had been immersed with grief and fear. Our family since knowing the disease was under constant dark clouds above our heads. Despite emotions went disarray, we had spent quality time with her and each day and moment, eating breakfast or going out for tea seemed very precious and healing. I accompanied my mother overseas and locally for treatment, taking a hiatus of 1.5 years to console her and myself. And until now, I never regretted the time off spent with her cos these are the days I'll never ever get the chance to get back to.

Prior to illness, mom was probably the most gifted and proficient woman in her line of work. As a manager in an insurance firm, she had led a team of people to successful careers. Not only at work, at home too she's well-organised. She used to be very energetic and pro-active. Once I remembered moving to our new house in Tilong, she would single-handedly clean the house for 3-4 hours straight. She always made sure we had fresh fish to eat most days. And always spent time with her children for afternoon tea given her flexible nature of work.

When I was in university, striving through medical school, I talked on the phone with her every single week. We would share our ups and downs with solace. And when I was faced with emotional turmoil, she would bring me to trips overseas during the semester break. One such trip I could not forget was the trip to the most charming Japan (post here).

Overlooking the autumn leaves by the lake or mountain of Fuji, she led me to open my eyes to new discoveries and more to look forward in life. This then reminded me of one of her personalities I adore most and look up to i.e. her generosity. She would never save on giving us comfort like a good hotel or good car, or buying extra clothes or drinking water for our family. All in all, she gave the best to our family based on her personal values and belief.

I cannot ask for a better mother. And at anytime before I do forget about you in the years to come, I just want to say I appreciate everything and every aspect of you as your son. One day I believe I will meet you again, but at the moment please take care mom. I love you =(