I always tght to myself I needed this break due to the fact, I will not have one like this in the future.. but it's just ironically confronting for my suit. I want to get out there, make a change, be a full-on man and just earn a life that's worth living and telling for. I guess it's not too soon b4 I'd make my first appeal` =)
let's start with work. intern to me now is a ? mystery. altgh I knw it's very essential for me to start preparing for my 1st ever work handle, I'm equally content to just lay back & continue to dream into the remaining days of my long break` :) I've not realised nor wake up yet to the reality of the job that is laid down for me in 2 months time. and that job will be a tough one. if it's now to start.. then I'd have to focus just on a few things in this limited time span. hx and note-taking, physical exam, emergency essentials and ward call tactics.
more and all.. it's just learn and apply. I guess I still remember the days as a student when I told myself, I wouldn't stress out after all my degree is done. after this, It's just plain earning money and being safe. but I guess as a health personnel, it's more than that.
being out there by yourself, you'd haf all the responsibility in the world to take care of things.. literally being a superman saving each & every lives and dealing with imminent danger. not only that, but you'd haf to constantly put up that professional outlook so whenever your pt sees you, they will think you're a doctor instead of an inconfident lad who can't be relied upon (and that requires a lot of energy!).
there's always a morale that I learnt, and it'll be a very good survival reminder. i.e. no matter wt be patient.. cos patience will see you thru. just by moving on, treat work as an opportunity to learn & practice, and dealing things with an open mind definitely makes one less stressful than any other method. I might lose a life because 'I don't know how to' save a patient, but I'll never go back upon learning how to do it after this. I've told a very senior doctor once.. we're all just learning. and everyone takes things step by step. and it's practically unhealthy to criticise or push smeone out of their reach and desires.
okay next thing is.. love. I'm lucky to have best friends to talk abt love and too, having encountered a miraculous experience. I learnt so much in a half-year, 4 years, 7 years and a decade. there is always a point to make with love and that is 'unpredictable', 'unexplanable', 'unjustifiable' and just 'mysterious'. you'll never knw when it starts nor do you knw when it ends. but when it comes, it's just pure pleasure and feeling` >< I've learnt that once smeth is right, you'll always want to keep it for now, in a few years time and for eternity.
without a doubt, love often is accompanied by predicaments that appear with circumstances or changes in the lives of each couple. take my situation nw, a boundary.. a very essential boundary that needs to be overcome b4 there is any way for both to shed light on the trueness of their passion 2gether. any way there is.. for both to continue on in liking and in hope. and that one slight more step is being in presence. with my situation being, long distance.
one phrase that's just recently published amongst my circle of frens in fb:
that really much applies to me being.. the maintenance part. it takes a lot more harder to stay in it. but if you don't try, you'll never knw~ =) it always takes that amount of courage to face reality 2gether.. to knw the uncertainties, the changes, the doubts or the unexpectants.. but if there is a belief and there's always clapping of both hands, I'm sure there is a hope that things will work out. with that, I end my speech with a note for all people who're still looking for or already in one.. just do it. and do it naturally~ :)
inked with faith,
Keith Sz
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