live

i remembered at the onset of '08, i promised myself to make the year a good year for my blog. then, it came true.

i just flipped thru the pages.. the old posts. i never knew how wonderful my blog can be until i saw them again. i was so creative and adventurous. the pictures of my smiles were genuine, so as the tales of my life. each moment, each emotion is wonderfully crafted into words. life events were perfectly intricated. now, im beginning to wonder why im going downslope unto my blogging career.

these few months i admit, i've been dropping. dropping into a deep hole of void. i just dun feel like thinking. i just wish to dream.. and float to the skies. i couldn't wait for the light on the other end. i felt ive lost someth important. someth part of me.. of my life. i couldn't forgive myself nor dared to face my feelings anymore. im numb. i just wish but im too powerless..

i re-viewed yours. i just want to make sure you're safe and im forgotten. yes you are & im done. im just nothing. i left the friendship, yet my yearning tolerance has exploded. im sorry.. please forgive my f# deeds. i just brawled & hollered.. on myself. if im nothing, you're done and its worth it for my life to be destroyed. yet if im the promise, im sorry.. i loved you. take care of echo.

im a f# loser. i can't make 2010 a good year. i admired my past courage. now, im just going nowhere. the slimmest light is still existent. i told myself.. i've been thru times & times like these already. im getting used to it. what more can i do aside the same ol' way? no matter how my life will end up, im gonna finish strong. i will not lay a single f# anxiety on my mind nor regrets. no matter...

how much the world hates me, i will never ever hate myself.

forgive me~
- pillbo
- angelene
- shee mei
- abhi

my friends. im done with you all.

- keith