winter

24.5
its been a long time no update. sorry if it even affects anyone a bit, but i myself hadn't had a glance of my page for a month. i put it on abstinence.. took a break for a while.. & see if it does matter. i guess my blog isn't such a big deal afterall except proly'd bored sharon a bit. i missed blog. the life without blog has been very different. i'll elaborate.

i glanced towards the outside of my window, and found its winter. its now 25th may, 08. brisbane has accompanied me for 3 years.. 3 years. i questioned myself hw long will i have to stay here agn. its cold, im not getting the grip of life very well here, but all i'd ever do it for is medicine. brunei is my home, regardless hw well i shud settle here. i longed for warmth.

im abt to be 23. i looked at myself.. still slim.. still not fully established (yet). strangely when i look ard & compare to myself, i see most adults of my age wearing nice tidy formal cloth, fine physically built with app hairstyle and shoes, enjoying active lifestyle whilst me.. at the age of 23, still sublimed to my famous shirt-in jacket, khakis and sandals. im sad to say i haven't pulled out an expectation on myself to be more 'good-looking', more 'adult'.. & when i walk ard with my old clothes, i just had in mind.. im just a lame med student.

i spent time with seniors had a talk with them. instantaneously, i found out tt 3rd 4th years are just as tiring (aint not just 2nd year). so i pulled a cloth on myself.. laughed out softly.. went back home.. tght abt it. ok.. 'its a life-long thing'.. bring myself up.. ok lets do this.

next- life is always changing.. if you don't change, you'll be left behind.. new things .. motives keep on changing.. relationships change.. life then goes on.. and on.. and on.. until eventually you ask yourself.. "y.. y.. y..." despite, you moved on to pursue life to the very best, for this point, you realised life is always abt oneself.

run out of love. run out of luck. i nearly lost blog. but i wanted to feel for myself again. i won't be blogging until aft exams.. wish me luck in 2 weeks time.. i'll only be longing for the self the smiles when i graduated. not anyone else. but just myself.

- keith