意義

25/11/07- a post on meaning
tse days, ive been in tghts. thinking vastly abt life, contemplating abt the future. at this age u begin to grow out of it, taking the step to think & decide wts life ahead.. u begin to mould ur life and make it ideal as such as u become an adult.. with tt change, it then remains in u as long for time.

i remembered the days of care wch my parents offered so generously. now that ive grown, i questioned abt hw im going to have to care them in return. the issue of living with them with inclusion of my partner. many times, i can virtually watch every child as they grew, leaving their families to live an independent life. no doubt, its sweet.. the freedom, privacy.. and less burden than living with old ones.

when i looked back, i cudnt forget their unconditional love. i've tght abt my demanding career, my future family and my elders. being 22yr old & only son, it puts up with me. but in the end, i knw i have this responsibility. i cudn't imagine hw it wud be like. hws my role in such an involving family- wife, parents. but all in my mind- its not tt i need to tk of my elders. its tt i will tk of them.

besides the family factor, i tght abt my career. i had the chance to get a taste of cardio and gp. cardio is practically time-load demanding.. gp is relaxing but less challenging. the whole exp of working stunned me for a while. i just loved uni life~

when u strt working, u get up everyday at 8. then go home at 5. but if ure in cardio, u'll do night shifts and OT. then.. u just keep working, hoping to wait for weekend to get urself ditched till late at nite, then find urself worn out for next working day.. it really got me into thinking.. is life tt way? work.. earn.. work.. earn.. hw 'cool' is the meaning of life to work and earn.. but one tng to note.. u work and earn for the family. tt makes meaning.

i typically tght i just wanted to earn a house for my elders. aside tt, i hoped to be a dr of significance at least based on my interest. other than tt.. hmm.. that will come naturally... smetmes i also hoped to be sound in spiritual sense.. dauntingly, it alwez doesnt go in my favor. i'm already admitting myself to be marooned frm most things for years to come.. still taking it positively.

exam results will come out only after 10 dec. if i fail, i dun think i've the time nor determ to study for the supp. its gonna be very unpredictable. but wts bad? its just 1st year.. -_- on last note, i just wish for some frens. live life.. even if i've not been there..
- keith