Love letter to mom

25th October, 2019. A date I could not forget. She left this world.. so abruptly. Despite 5 years of preparation, having had the time to spend with her, it still feels not easy to take, still feels.. like the loss is just unimaginable. She's no longer here with us. None her voice, none her smile, none of her presence.. even if you want to meet her.. or anticipate her for a chat or a tea.

Mom had fought cancer for 5 years. The days during this battle had been immersed with grief and fear. Our family since knowing the disease was under constant dark clouds above our heads. Despite emotions went disarray, we had spent quality time with her and each day and moment, eating breakfast or going out for tea seemed very precious and healing. I accompanied my mother overseas and locally for treatment, taking a hiatus of 1.5 years to console her and myself. And until now, I never regretted the time off spent with her cos these are the days I'll never ever get the chance to get back to.

Prior to illness, mom was probably the most gifted and proficient woman in her line of work. As a manager in an insurance firm, she had led a team of people to successful careers. Not only at work, at home too she's well-organised. She used to be very energetic and pro-active. Once I remembered moving to our new house in Tilong, she would single-handedly clean the house for 3-4 hours straight. She always made sure we had fresh fish to eat most days. And always spent time with her children for afternoon tea given her flexible nature of work.

When I was in university, striving through medical school, I talked on the phone with her every single week. We would share our ups and downs with solace. And when I was faced with emotional turmoil, she would bring me to trips overseas during the semester break. One such trip I could not forget was the trip to the most charming Japan (post here).

Overlooking the autumn leaves by the lake or mountain of Fuji, she led me to open my eyes to new discoveries and more to look forward in life. This then reminded me of one of her personalities I adore most and look up to i.e. her generosity. She would never save on giving us comfort like a good hotel or good car, or buying extra clothes or drinking water for our family. All in all, she gave the best to our family based on her personal values and belief.

I cannot ask for a better mother. And at anytime before I do forget about you in the years to come, I just want to say I appreciate everything and every aspect of you as your son. One day I believe I will meet you again, but at the moment please take care mom. I love you =(

Goodbye Australia~

Just yesterday, I find myself bidding farewell to Rockhampton after my two years of stay here.. mainly for the purpose of internship as I made my way up the stairs into the Qantas jet. As I looked back, my days here did seem quite long.. yet not close to the amount of time I had spent in Brisbane; adding both would be close to a decade. 

  

I enjoyed Rocky, particularly the working part of it as the Base hospital is probably the most ideal place to nurture me during my junior years. Living far from family and friends back home, especially after you’ve graduated, just feels.. a bit different. I’m glad I’ve made my decision to return home for good.

Arriving Brisbane and perhaps the most part of it is.. scratching my head to think of buying for others. Along the way, I’ve encountered new discoveries in the city and too in Indooroopilly! I was lucky to bump into the new Apple store during its first day opening in Brisbane located at Edward Street, the place which was once the large Dymocks book store. 

You just cannot imagine the amount of staff they’ve hired and the no. of gadgets they’ve placed in this huge precinct of such beautiful architecture. Indooroopilly, in addition, made a huge extension on ground floor to harbour new cafes, deli meat shops, new Woolworths and fruit store. The top floor food court to my surprise, was ‘Asianised’ and best thing I found was... Hatakaya Ramen store from Gold Coast arrived here too! Movenpick was the other new opening which reminded of my memorable sweet times.

I actually spent time blogging this during one of my days in hotel room when I felt the time was right. Hilton is such a beauty and I awed at the sight of the tall indoor structure, whereby the base of it delightfully welcomes patrons to dine in or have a drink in an open, exquisite atmosphere. I had my music played and as it did before in the past, caused a stir of reminiscence.

I am now no longer as emotional as I used to be, and now more relaxed when I blog. But I’ve to say those days that long.. just remain part of me and my identity and when I do have to tell a story.. it’s once that I was an Aussie boy.

Coming here 8.5 years ago, I do remember the tears in the plane and yet it was not due to the reason I was leaving my family. As I stepped foot on Brisbane soil and was brought to St. Lucia, my heart gave way to a fresh new chapter and I lived with such independence and passion. 

I was really merely on my own for most, but the first new company in blue house and the serene grasslands of the campus nurtured me to grow further on in strength and in academy. I was supported for the 1^st couple of years by music, blogging and also a pen friend who writes to me and enlightens me with postage gifts from Europe.

It was not too far until then when I met with such wonderful care group and my experience with Christ was just amazing, but not without challenges. I strived to overcome grief and forgiveness around a certain relationship, but to this day.. I can admit time eventually heals all. It’s just funny to think why it was such a huge deal for me back then, then I realised.. I did seem to really care.
 

My mom brought me to a vast humongous of places when I needed to during my uni break and few such I could remember well were Japan and too, Hong Kong. Japan is the most beautiful country I’ve ever visited, not just the scenery yet its dining experience. Hong Kong reminded me of just that first vivid experience with a recreational fantasy land and Disneyland was just awesome. Not to mention, Gigi Leung my forever idol resides here, and too a friend whom I’ve met with such comfort in uni originates from there.

I kept up with uni life during my medical years.. and really its just all about that. I used to be really sporty, able to maintain fitness every weekend by jogging from uni to city and back again via the path alongside the small Brisbane river. Brisbane city had been my life, and I would smetmes wonder around aimlessly with my Ipod earpieces stuck into my ears and hand holding a chilled Starbucks delight, looking at buildings, people and letting the wind blow by my face. 

I especially cherished the company of one of my Bruneian friends who had resided in Brisbane for a few years, and it is with him on those wonderful weekends playing games and watching series that I just filled my heart with comfort and home. I wouldn’t also forget the times with my Bruneian mates for all familiarity and fun cos without them, it would be very hard to get by.

I eventually graduated.. but wait, before that` :)... I am blessed to have met that lady. And yes, we met via Facebook. Our encounter and our days pursuing that were met with such fascination and enigma; they were indescribable. Meeting her in person on first day in Auckland was a wonder and to me, she’s just that ideal person whom you couldn’t just possibly imagine finding and having presented right to doorstep of your life. She’s just that. And subsequently the days we experience flourished with our natural complements.

I was reminded of the challenges we had to face, particularly in terms of health and too our careers, at the primetime of our lives. I am especially reminded and encouraged by the way we have managed our long distance, depicting it’s nowhere near impossible as long as both are determined to do so. I just feel it takes something to acknowledge that other one for who she is, and who she’ll be for a very long time. I thank you for this and let’s live it well and together for this year and more~ :)

I think this is just a nice way to end my blog~ Life is a journey of encounters with people of difference and challenges to overcome, sprinkled with fun and happiness portrayed by your loved ones. It’s a new chapter when I return home and I know there’s nothing to lose for whatever happens next~ Live life when it’s short, and I hope my holidays stay longer so I don’t have to start working so soon!

Thank you Australia.. thank you for being my second home. You’re the place where I’ve laid my footsteps on to become who I am today.

With love,

Keithtsz  

happy 2nd~

My one and only Cheryl Koh Chien Yun,

Dearie, hereby I wanna thank you for these 2 years.. these wonderful 2 years of our time together~ you never know how it came by in us meeting and eventually progressed to an unexpected, but miraculous together``` you indeed have been the change of my life wherever my life meets.. it's now just landing to a soft bay of blissful wonders and an ocean reflecting the vibrant stars on a serene night's sky~ you are the one who has given me this feeling of what seems to be like a dream yet a safe full of everlasting love.. just as like feeling to reality~

I just wanna go back to the days when we first communicated` for most part, it could be described as an uncertainty of a written yet verbal friendship..yet most of our early relationship was met with trust, sincerity, understanding and honesty``` for how even until now, the naviety within us could not beat the belief we had upon each other, this is what made our relationship such unique and special~

I remember the days when you're just a mere intern, yet I was still a non-income earner~ for you tried your best to subsidise most of our trips and hotels together when I visited Auckland first hand`` and I still remembered the wonderful Christmas night eve spent and yet with your awesome friends blend with the supposedly spring/summer of the festivities and serene cold night there. The environment was such a beauty tight in together with your warm presence and your smile; that's why I could never forget and yet loved Auckland so much cos it was the moment of pure change and wonder to my life~

First year was not easy, and I was obliged with full willing to stay by your side during your drastic ordeal~ you kept strong and we pulled things together for the better.. for so much, I had first time realised so much pain with the idea of the possibility of a losing, whereby in fact for now it has gone past, and I wanna thank God for giving me the second chance to allow me to grasp hold and cherish the person whom I loved yet so dearly and needed in my life``` I wanna thank your friends for such support then for us.

You went onto loving me dearly, and never failed to offer, compromise, tolerate and indulge in our long-distance relationship~ for most of it, you knew we were just miles away talking thru the wonderful modern technology of Skype or Msn.. and you knew we were not in presence, but you kept to the belief that one day whenever on meeting, we will unite in soul and heart` and that you believed that every single effort you made day-in day-out in collaboration is the love you gave to the real me, despite of us just never there apart from a 1-2hr evening call~

I thank you for this. Not only that, on your demeanour of knowing how to touch me on gifts or surprises, and too on our trips of holidays together~ I enjoyed moments being with you`` outside and yet locally too in Brunei` and wondered how ever could I ever get this wonder of a feeling with other else. Thank you for giving me chemistry, compatibility, content and a one to cherish. this feeling has never been seen yet until when you came to my life`` and I thank you really for this.

for so much, as life wud generally suggest is not without challenges``` as for you now love, that for whatever challenge you face, I'm here for you`` As for most challenges and its solution, it's to "calculate one step and act on one step (Chinese proverb)". we will go thru these together with strength and wisdom, and for whatever God's will there is for us, I'll still love you and support you for whatever plans you may have dearie~ meanwhile, let the destiny reveal its path in weeks, and if not let us meet in Nz in the near future~ ;)

Dearie`` I can never cease to acknowledge how amazing you are~ you made me smile`` you touch my heart`` and you comfort me in everyway~ I thank you for this moment of love and truth, and here we are in 2nd year and I wish to go beyond and beyond for as long as ever, till the hairs on my head turn grey or fall off.

I love you~ happy 2nd, and I hope to one day be in your presence for long~

Yours,

Keith

chow mien, 9 years~

Very interesting topic right? chow mien, 9 years~ In fact, they are two separate meanings to what I want to say~ 
chow mien is, what I made today and I find it very surprisingly easy and tasty to taste. The 2nd one 9 years is a tribute to my 9-year old difference in age idol, Gigi Leung. Her birthday is today, and I'd like to share a bit of reminiscence on her behalf.

The chow mien, just takes a bit of effort. As you see.. my chow mien may look like a mee hoon, but in fact its not. It's thin yellow egg noodle.. you need a few ingredients to kick start. first of all.. the yellow noodle is the hard, dry one you buy in supermarket, and then when put to boiling water it softens. The most important thing is soften the noodle for 3-4 minutes, then run it in cold water after that.. then later add sesame oil into the noodle to prevent it from sticking, that's all!

The ingredients to fry includes carrot, beef, cabbage, red pepper, garlic, onion and ginger. The secret is cut them small small, or in very thin slices so it blends well with the noodle. you put in the latter three and fry it in a generous quantity of canola oil~ once 1 minute has gone, you add all the rest of the vegetables and meat. all you need is to fry it throughly for 10 minutes until soft. thereby I added seasoning Masterfoods Seasoning Pepper and it taste good.

Once you're done and veges soft, crack an egg.. let it to cook on one side. Then put your noodle into the pan and start using the sauces. Here I put some soy sauce, rice vinegar and chilli sauce.. and the hardest part comes to play i.e. stirring the noodle with the veges. Here you need to use two scoopers or even forks to evenly stir and keep it to low heat. Stir for 5 minutes, then you're done. It's easy right~

Long time no cook and eat this noodle, taste so good~~ It's been the fourth of my 6 days holiday, so all in all I'm gonna start my 8 day shift soon. I can't wait to go home in 3 weeks, as I've been counting repeatedly.. 8 months are about to go by since I went home or since I took a decent break~ smetmes I just wish for a quiet time in Brissie, amongst the southbank or city area and have a nice 2 days off there.. which is of course coming! =)

On the other hand or topic, Gigi Leung~ :) and why 9 years.. I've always keep track and known of her age thru our age differences. When I was in O' level, I was certain I was 17 at that time, she was 26.. at the top of her career.. the prettiest and most mesmerising voice you could ever hear! I was just lanky, soft.. didn't know of the vast challenges aligned before me.. enjoying my comfort zone and just drowse into her wonderful summer music and mostly dreaming fantasy~ :)

Hahahaa what life~ 9-10 years have passed.. she just got married, and I just got my job. how much indeed 9 years can change a life.. change a person.. and it is indeed these, which give me a smile knowing how much you've seen, sought, experienced and changed within the years... and linking how much she has gone by too in this pretty much a decade. She is now a happy 37th lady~ and she found her true love after years of searching... what a wonder~

oh well.. I always have a lot of reminiscence in my blog~ but anyways.. Emerald is such a wonderful place to lead a peaceful, undisturbed and educational life~~ I just wish, but didn't.. to continue onto 2nd term here. But all in all, the wonders and sights have astounded me in fairbairn dam.. yet too the staff and experience working with the seniors and too the patients. 

But truly, I have yet another more half to go thru Rockhampton, and is does sound a bit dreadful having to spend another long time away from home.. oh well~ I shud focus on my current regime and that my holiday is about to come in 3 weeks time. Can't wait! ;P to meet my family and wonderful gf back home```

- keith

Life in Emerald and as it is...

Now here I am writing in my ensuite bedroom in Emerald over afternoon tea, reminiscing with my blog songs as usual for me to write further~ 

On this day itself, as it is I found myself awoken around 1.30pm having re-slept after a brief morning interval. The life in Emerald as it is now copies the same exact feeling I had 3-4 years ago, when I was here as a student. A luxury life of serenity in a fully-furnished quarters where I can sleep, study, entertain and reminisce nicely in a new set environment. But just this time, aircon is not functional and too this time in addition, I own a tv in my bedroom and a car for travel.

Apart from the joy of being in a new town, place and working crew, the experience for the past couple of weeks may have probably been a bit dramatic. I have set out the expectation of the possibility that I'd be inundated from the start when I was given the post to Emerald in the beginning of the year, when it is Queensland's wettest season. 

And surely it did, the rain kept pouring along one fine day which led to the total disruption of the local telecoms, voiding of the use of mobile phones, landlines nor any form of internet. In that pre-evening, I found myself looking at the shelves of our favourite grocery store Woolworths, completely empty with no bread, milk or veges. It was hilarious.

Fortunately, Emerald was spared and it was sunny straight the day after. Ironically, the waters which flooded 80% of the city 2 years ago, diverted itself to the south-east causing huge problems to Bundaberg, Rockhampton, Ipswich and Brisbane. I lived on and set up Bigpond to my new accommodation and was shared by Shane, the other relieving resident from Nambour. It's just a blessing with my lifestyle, loving the idea of being organized with housekeeping- putting washed shirts into shelves, switching on the tv and playing Naruto as I surf the internet on my lappy. Really life with internet makes a lot of difference. 

Oh did I mention my pull-up by the police 2x just for random breathe test around my resident's neighbourhood; once night, once daylight back-to-back. The 2nd time round was when I was commuting back home from work & found myself turning into a junction, whereby a police car was about to exit from. And out of nowhere, after having advanced a good half a Ks ahead, the same officers car chased up from behind with the siren light. What a strategy lol! As expected, I passed the test coz I hadn't drunk at work~!

Work~ is fun and passionate. The SMOs here are just lovely bunch of people to get along with. In Emerald, it's a small hospital, so you don't only get medicine but obstetrics, general surgical, paeds & emergency all in one. 

As I work in the ward, I found myself learning a broad variety and not only that, with passion as the SMOs are willing to teach and quiz you in every way. You get weekly education sessions and teleconference from QRME. I actually find myself more lively and involved than I was back in Mental Health, where sad to say... it's just mentally torturing in light of the lack of interest working in that field. Here I can apply knowledge and fix people.. really fix people.

My gf has returned to Brunei safely, leaving behind all the awesome memories she had in New Zealand. Despite that, she seems to be enjoying every aspect of it, traveling down to the city almost everyday as yet (as she is a village girl who met a city boy). As Chinese New Year approaches, the idea is to get used to a nice pre-dinner I guess by myself as it has always been for the past how many years? I don't even know when is Chinese New Year lol..

As every new year has it's own resolutions, mine stems upon the commitments I've envisioned upon over the near next few years~ and I guess.. it can only be simple and just. I've grown to the extent of being an adult and taking responsibility of things to my own accord; and I know I'm capable` =) In short, this is likely the final year I will be in Aussie and in this year, it's all about the completion of the year as a resident. And I'll make this year worthwhile and sweet` :)

Believe or not, I've actually pre-ordered Naruto Storm 3 in EB games in this new Emerald 'Stocklands', can't wait for it. And yes.. we have a mall here in Emerald, which wasn't here a few years back. I'm just exaggerating here in terms of its size, but least they do have Big W, Woolies, Sanity, a news agent and Cotton-on, but failed solely on not having a single cafe. I'm yet to visit Fairbairn Dam here, and yet to book my tickets for return back home this April. Looking forward to footy late this night. With this, I end my Emerald post~ and wishing everyone a wonderful night ahead.

- keith